resolutions....

So i know this is NOT weight related but my new years resolution this year was to start going to church regularly. so far I have made it to all two masses :) and of course Christmas day.
I was taking a very long break from the church. For one, I just wasn't getting it. Going to mass every Sunday was not sinking in with me. I wasn't getting anything out of it.
Well things changed a few weeks ago. My IL's are very involved with their church. They are in the choir, my FIL is the deacon there and they do a lot for the church.
We went to IL's for Thanksgiving this year. We always take extra food (leftovers)with us when we leave to give to the homeless guy that stands right as you enter off the expressway. So MIL made up a huge plate of food for the guy. We got to his spot and he was there. Which was a relief , as there were times we made a big plate for one of them and they weren't there. So he was there and we gave him the food. He was carrying something in his hand and with food , he fumbled with it all and it dropped. The plate we had made the food on was not a real secure one and the food fell to the ground. I choke up even thinking about it now. So anyways, i couldn't see , but Pete said he was able to recover all the food. I started to to cry . I was a mess. I just cried and cried. and Pete, who does not choke up a lot , did. so that hit me really hard, too.
Anyways, we got home, I turned on the TV and there was a commercial on about volunteering etc. and i just know that commercial was on for me. I had wanted to do it (serve food to the homeless in the past and just hadn't gotten around to doing it) So I saw this commerical and It inspired.
I emailed MIL about my experience (she is pretty religious) and told her I wanted to serve food to the homeless, NOW. I didn't want to keep putting it off. Mil's church (St Vincent Depaul) serves food to the homes less and her and FIL go every once in awhile. So she said YES, let's go next week.
So we went , it was an experience for sure. I worked the head part of the line where i greeted them and asked them what they wanted. It was very heartbreaking and totally empowering all at the same time. Like little old me was able to help these people and it felt good. I know i chocked up a few times. But i just tried so hard to keep a bright smile on my face. I know in my heart they liked the warm touch i added. Some told me how pretty i was, some wished me a merry christmas and yes, some were bitter. but i just kept a smile on my face and a warmth in my voice. So, anyways, I chocked up a few time. Just thinking to myself how ef'en lucky I am and how unlucky these guys are. what ever the reason is, something went terribly wrong for these people.
anyways, it ended being a very spiritual day for me. Lots of thinking and reflecting.... which I suppose is what you're supposed to get out of something like this.
So , I made a vow to myself that day, that serving the home lees would be something I would start to do. And you ask, maybe, where does church come in.
So days , maybe even weeks went by and MIL and I would talk about the experience from time to time. And the moment it hit me was when she told me that St Vincent Depaul supports the homeless, that it is their mission to serve them. And when i heard that, I knew I was sold. I want to be part of a congregation that I believe in and this I do. Oh wait , the moment hit before that. It was Christmas sunday. And we went to mass at DePaul. The Priest (pastor) was amazing. Everything he said, clicked with me. He broke things down into human terms. And I sort of knew at that moment. After Christmas mass is when MIL told me about De Pauls mission and that is when it all clicked for me!!!
So anyways, I think this is something I'm going to stick with. I go by myself and it very peaceful for me. And for some reason, I'm not sure why, but i get very emotional while i'm there. When i pray i just get all choked up...I feel so embarrassed , but hey, who cares, right!!! maybe i'm just emotional because this is all new to me and i have so much in my life to be thankful for and it's overwhelming.
So , sorry that this was so long. But i thought my story of re finding Jesus was very important. And wanted to talk about it.